ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
