i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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