Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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