my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I need a burrito and a hug.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
