DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
