My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
