we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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