Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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