Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
