Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
