Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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