dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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