Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
