I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
