When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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