Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
stop calling my apartment porn island.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
