By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
