I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
