Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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