I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
