his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
