Yo dont text me then not text me
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
