Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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