He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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