My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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