Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
They should really pass out barf bags in church
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
