I don't think brook has ever known best
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
