i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
