Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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