walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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