Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
