I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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