She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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