do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
And then my night got REAL pukey
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
