i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
