At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
