My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
