I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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