I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
