I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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