happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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