He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
