So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
