i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
