If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
