the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
