remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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