u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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