I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
