I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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