it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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