Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just want nice things and good sex
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
